jelly belly, the lamentable part deux

Today, I went to the YMCA.

At 6:30am.

And weighed myself. With the trainer.

And then did a body fat composition test. With the trainer.

And then kept my face carefully neutral when I saw my percentage. In front of my trainer.

Has anyone ever done that? The body fat thing? Because holy melty cheese nachos, Batman, it's intense. I have a system when it comes to numbers and my body. When I weigh myself, I think of a number that is a few pounds heavier than I think I will be, kind of like a worst-case scenario situation. That way, when I do step on the scale, it's always with the attitude of "it could be worse." This makes me feel better about myself. It doesn't make me feel better about myself when the number is much, much, much higher than my mentally prepared already high number. And that is what the body fat composition test did for me. Yikes.

I mean, I know I'm overweight. I know that "medically" I'm "technically" "obese." But what do "doctors" know, really? Well. I guess more than me. Because the body fat test was a big wake up call for me. Peeps, I have some issues and I need to deal with them as soon as possible. I find the segment on the Biggest Loser where the doctor goes over their health risks and numbers related to their weight, and think to myself that I'm not that bad. I don't weigh 250 pounds, or 300, or 400, and I take comfort and feel smug with those thoughts. Even at my most fit, I was 150 pounds and not necessarily skinny. I don't have the build for that, I think. But today, I realized that I've been living in a fabricated dream world where I think I'm okay and that I don't really have a problem.

I have a problem.

Because many things haven't worked for me, I'm trying something new. Remember when I said this was a shame based Puritanical society I run at this here blog? I'm going to take advantage of that and start posting weekly updates on my progress. Or my backsliding. Or my stagnation. But the big thing is that I'm going to start being accountable for what I eat and how often I work out. But mostly, it’s about humiliation. I think that might be good for me. For more on another very funny guy who lost weight using humiliation and a whole lot of biking, check out Fat Cyclist, who isn't fat at all anymore.

So.

Without further ado, here we go (you can feel free to stop reading now, if you'd like):

Weight: 225
Body fat: 43.7% (Thank god I have big bones??)
Pants size: 20

Ugh. That was rough. But I feel better. I think.

Photo from Cathy Zielske

bloggy blog blog

Many moons ago, I used to live in a small town. I love that small town. Also many moons ago, I was on a design team with some awesome and creative women...and one of them has had her layout just published in Creating Keepsakes! Way to go Angela!

These fabulous women are having a blog hop, and I encourage you to participate, especially if you like paper, free stuff, paper, great ideas, creative things, and free stuff. Start here for more information!

nothing like a long walk

Back in the day, when the Israelites esca-pated from the pesky Egyptians with Moses (and aren't those Egyptians always pesky in the Old Testament? They're like the mean older brother of the Israelites), God let the Israelites on the desert road. There was a shorter way to get where they were going, but God knew that if the people went the shorter way, they might encounter something they weren't ready for. And, in encountering it, they might change their minds and go back to Egypt.

So, in the interest of, um, their best interest, God did what was best for them: took them on a long walk on the desert road.

I get the feeling that I'm on the desert road most of the time. And that, I feel, doesn't speak well for me. If I'm not getting the things I want or doing the things I want to do...that means that I'm probably not ready for it. Moreover, it might also mean that it's what I want and what I want to do, not not what God wants or what God wants me to do. What I think it comes back to is that I'm more focused on what I want, not what's best for me. Sigh. That kinda sucks.

Are you on a desert road, waiting for what you really want?

Wondering why God isn't giving you the things you want, or why the road is so much harder than you thought?

Check out Jon's post on the desert road and let me know.

i wish i knew this guy

There are a lot of things that I wish I had done/are now doing/will do. I know myself enough to know that many of them (participate in a triathlon, finally swim a 50 free below :30 seconds, read Moby Dick) won't happen. Or, more optimistically, won't happen soon. I'll need some more energy, will power, and dedication first.

There are also a lot of things that I never thought I'd like to do, but then read about someone doing them and think to myself "that would be fricken' awesome." For example, this guy named Ryan is running across Europe.

Stop and think about that.

Running.

Across.

Europe.

As in, putting one foot in front of the other, in a semi-quick fashion. And doing that action all across Europe. With just a little backpack. Running. Europe.

Madness.

Lucky for me, he's started a blog so I can live vicariously through him and have "running through Europe" on my list of things I'd like to do, but that we all know would actually never happen.

So. Please go and check Ryan out and read about his travels. I'm pretty sure that reading about his adventure is very much like exercise, so it's like going to the gym too.

Ryan Runs Europe

UPDATE: This guy is from Washington! Even cooler than before.

something to remember

I think we can all agree that we are not the best wife (or husband for the 1.2 males in my audience who may be married) we could be. For me, that is especially true. I have a lot of stuff (emotionally or otherwise, I guess) that makes living with me either a) super awesome b) tolerable and c) worst experience ever. Some of the stuff is depression-related, some of it is my own issues. I'd like to think my delightful qualities greatly outweigh the negative, but we all think that, and we can't ALL be right, right? Anyway.

I'm worried about a few things that go along with moving to a new place with no support base near by. As someone who's dealt with depression on and off in my life (some episodes triggered by circumstances, others triggered by chemical imbalance) (thanks again, Grandma Lorraine), these kind of situations unnerve me. I can, if I allow myself, to become depressed very easily. Keeping a positive mental outlook isn't a luxury for me, it's a necessity. I worry, with my depression and ability to be a totally shrew, if my marriage is going to be hurt by moving so far away. Can our relationship handle me falling victim to myself? I can dwell on these topics for a while, which puts the Living With Heather index into a code red situation.

However, I was really convicted by something Jon wrote today: God loves love, and His ability to repair it will forever exceed our ability to deserve it.

Garsh.

When thoughts like that are brought to light, my weaknesses and worries aren't so significant. I have the author of love rooting for me, and on my side. I need to recognize that more often and lean on that promise and that strength more often.

That's all for today.

P.S.--One of the radio stations in town changed their format to 70s and 80s rock. If that isn't proof there is a God out there who loves us, I don't know what is.

things i love

1. I love classic rock. I love the Rolling Stones, AC/DC, ELO (don't bring me down Bruce!!) (I'm pretty sure I'm ELO's only fan), and more. It's great.

2. I like movies like American Beauty, Office Space, and When Harry Met Sally.

3. I like HBO.

4. I like Dane Cook.

This is in response to Jon's post on Christian Secular Culture Disclaimer. So, I'm coming out loud and proud and stating how awesome the aforementioned items are. Please check it out and feel free to post your secret-secular likes.

I mean, God talked to a guy in a burning bush. I didn't expect to see Him in Office Space, but there he was, challenging me to be a better employee. Or something.

cool beans

I think I want to be more like Ryan.

He's intentional. And spiritual. And loves his family. And he's a good cook. I do some of those things, but I could do all of them better. And Ryan is like that too.

Does anyone ELSE want shrimp, like, every moment of every day? Because I do. And this is not helping:

In many of his posts, I feel like he's saying what I'm thinking.

Exhibit A.

I encourage you to check him out. And let me know if you dig him too.

P.S.--to my 2.6 readers, I'm fresh out of writing recently, hence the last few posts (or lack of the last few posts). We're going through a bit of an uncertain time, and that's what is taking most of my brain space.

genius

I can't do anything to my hair other than put it up in a messy bun. I have a feeling this will be an invaluable tool when Birdy actually has enough hair to do something other than nothing to. And yes, Anita, I just ended a sentence with a preposition. BOOYAH.

finding peace

Peeps, you may remember that I wrote about Stuff Christians Like a while ago. I love reading Jon's daily posts, and it makes me feel good about myself. Or I laugh at myself. Or I laugh at my church. Either way, it makes me smile (or at least smirk).

A few weeks ago, Jon posted an essay on thinking we were naked.

Not really naked, you know, but alluding to the Adam and Eve story where God is super bummed that Adam ate Eve's fruit and ruined the party. God was sad because someone (I'm looking at you, Satan) made them feel like God didn't love them. And he did. And does. And after a week or so of having a pretty big pity party (complete with cake!!) about myself, I remembered that I'm not naked. That I'm fine, and actually...better than fine. I invite you to read the Thinking You're Naked post.

And when you are done, I hope you also realize that you aren't naked. You're perfect.

craft it forward!

My blog buds Anita and Angela started this...and I'm joining in!

The first three people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice (but there is a good chance it will involve paper-crafting). For you.This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It’ll be done this year.
4- You have no clue what it’s going to be.
5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 3 people who do the same on your blog. The first 3 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!

So, loyal reader(s), start commenting.

*craft it forward idea from Kiwi*

OMG peeps

So, you know those people who write blogs and you love them and they don't know you but you feel like you know them? You know? Well, I read Em's blog, and today I left a comment. No big woop, it happens sometimes.

Well dear reader, its' different today. SHE REPLIED TO ME. ACK. It's like seeing someone famous in the airport or the deli and having that awkward "um...I think that's So and So...but here? In my deli? Eating pastrami? Surely not." But then you realize "OMG, THAT'S REALLY CONAN O'BRIEN, HERE, EATING PASTRAMI!!!" So, with the risk of being a total loser and all, I give you the email she sent. I feel cool.

Here is the text:

hahaha thankyou!!<---THAT IS FROM EMILY RIGHT THERE.

To: emily_amber79@hotmail.comSubject: [*e*] Heather submitted a comment
to 'don't throw away your old shirts, i need them for pants!'.Date: Fri, 20 Feb
2009 08:45:27 -0800From: typepad@sixapart.com

A new comment from
“Heather” was received on the post “don't throw away your old shirts, i need them for pants!” of
the blog “*e*”.
Comment:My favorite thing on young little people is a good set of cheeks, and
Yindi's are adorable!
Commenter name: Heather
Commenter email: heather_brackett@hotmail.com
Commenter
URL: http://www.babybirdy.blogspot.com
IP address: 69.166.43.1
Authentication:
NoneIf you would like to publish a reply to this comment you can do so by
writing a response on the post “don't throw away your old shirts, i need them for pants!”.
Enjoy!The TypePad Team

stuff heather likes

My friend Anita found a book recently called "Stuff Midwesterners Like." Liked items include ranch dressing, county fairs, and Cracker Barrel, to name a few. Anita loves it because it's true, and those types of things are the best. Exhibit A: Anything Jerry Seinfeld says. Exhibit B: Stuff Christians Like.

If there is one thing Heather likes, it's laughing at herself and the things she does without thinking. Many of the posts on Stuff Christians Like make me chuckle as a life-long church attendee, mission participator, and once ministry employee. Jon, the blog dude, seems to feel the same way.

Some of my favorites are:

Getting single people married as fast as possible
Leaving Bibles in the lost and found
30 Rock is the new Office and other shows that could be sermons (my parent's pastor has done sermons on books before...but never TV shows...GENIUS!!)

I really, really, really could go on for a long time. I've been doing the silent crying laugh thing, since I'm in a position where I am sitting down in front of a computer with other people who are also in front of computers nearby. I think you know what I'm talking about.

I've been scrolling through the months on Jon's blog, and I guess they had a "Bulletin Bored" contest. You know when a man (or woman) is giving this shpiel about their awesome retreat coming up, or the church announcements are going on forever, or it's Children's Church and you're bored out of your gourd so you doodle? My friend Liz (fellow youth intern) and I would do this, and doodle ridiculous things like a water polo team with Jesus on it, or other things that float through the transom of your mind when you are surrounded with junior and senior high students. This was one of the winners:

















The commenters after the blog posts say funny and/or insightful things too, which I appreciate in a blog. This is one that was left after a SCL post titled "Seeing God in Nature:"

I spend too much time looking for God and not enough time seeing God.

Ugh. So true.

Please, please enjoy SCL. It will make you cry silent laughter tears, or perhaps pee your pants. I pray it's the former.

help save handmade

This is reposted from Cool Mom Picks, a blog dedicated to helping cool moms pick cool things. As a cool mom and a lover of cool things, it only makes sense that I would be a reader. The following is something important for all lovers of handmade items--especially toys.
..................................................................................
So many of you have written to us out of concern regarding the new Consumer Products Safety Improvement Act, that we created this page as a source of information, resources and breaking news.

If you want to help spread the word, you can post this button on your blog or website. It's our hope that together, we can encourage Congress to amend the act so that we can both keep our children safe and protect the handmade toys and clothing that we love so much.

Adorable handmade bear image courtesy of Bumblebird--a true artist worth saving! And design by Laurie Smithwick of LEAP Design.

Overview
We're all for strengthening the safety standards of mass-produced toys, clothes, and accessories made in China, and banning toxins like phthalates and lead. But this year, congress passed the ill-conceived Consumer Products Safety Improvement Act, a law which goes into effect in two months and will absolutely decimate the small toy manufacturers, independent artisans, and crafters who have already earned the public trust. The very same ones that we often feature here and in our yearly special edition gift guides.

With this act going into effect February 10 2009 so many people we love will be affected: Moms who sew beautiful handmade waldorf dolls out of home, artists who have spent decades hand-carving trucks and cars out of natural woods, that guy at the craft show who sold you the cute handmade puzzle--even larger US companies who employ local workers and have not once had any sort of safety issue will no longer be able to sell their goods. Not without investing tens of thousands of dollars into third-party testing and labeling, just to prove that toys that never had a single toxic chemical in them still don't have a single toxic chemical in them.

How to Get Involved -- it only takes 5 minutes of your time!
-Find your congress personand senators and write a letter like the sample here.Particularly if they serve on the House Subcommittee on Commerce, Trade and Consumer Protection or the House Committee on Small Business.

-Send an email directly to the CPSC or contact chairperson Nancy Nord at 301-504-7923

-Vote for amending the law on Change.org, digg style: With enough votes it will be presented to President Obama in January!

-Place the Save Handmade! button on your blog or website to help spread the word to everyone you know who cares about protecting the little guy and preserving beautiful items made with love for our children.
Fantastic Resources

-The Handmade Toy Alliance (check out their proposed changes, a lot of which make a whole lot of sense)

-CPSIA Facebook Group

-CPSIA information group on ning

-Z Recommends: Five steps you can take to save natural toys (excellent reading)

-Handcrafivist Channel on youtube with updated news stories and videos

-Fashion Incubator

-The Smart Mama

-Etsy business forums (including this specific thread on local media coverage

-Twitter: Search using the #CPSIA hashtag

-Endangered Whimsy - a blog gallery of handmade products endangered by the CPSIA. Feel free to submit yours.

-Video: Handmade Portraits

-Excellent letter from Rick Woldenberg, Chairman of Learning Resources, to CPSC on improvements to the act. Also see the You Tube videos in which he addresses the CPSC panel in November. Well worth a watch. (1 of 3)

Press, related posts and late-breaking news
Fantastic response from Senator Majority Leader Patrick Leahy (D-VT): I am hopeful that the CPSC will take the needs of small, American manufacturers into consideration as they continue to develop new testing policies. In the next session of Congress, I will continue to work towards a solution that both ensures the safety of our children and allows small businesses in Vermont to stay competitive. (Other Senators, take note!)

Celebrity Baby Blog - with great sample letter to Congress
WSMV 4 Nashville news segment (inspired in part by our post, yay!)

Digital Journal article: "New child product safety law threatens all US homecraft businesses" (with great mentions about how reselling items on Ebay and Craig's List will also be illegal)

Boston Herald: "Small toy stores fear new US regulations" (Promising quote: according to Brin Frazier, spokesman for Congressman John Dingell (D-Mich.), chairman of the U.S. House Committee on Energy and Commerce... “Manufacturers and distributors already selling safe toys that comply with the new standards should not have to incur prohibitive costs for compliance.”)

Activism alert: Etsy artists band together and send handmade toys to Congressman Rush

Patriot Ledger Editorial: "New law to put thousands of out work"

Boing Boing: "Consumer safety rule could drive crafters out of business"

Mothering.com: "Good intentions lead to catastrophic results for the natural toy industry"

Wall Street Journal: "Vendors urge relaxed lead safety rule" (despite the misleading headline)

DaddyTypes: "Is CPSC's new lead regulation going to wipe out the baby non-industrial complex next February?"

Eco Child's Play: "New consumer safety laws will make handmade, natural toys illegal"

Mom-101: "In support of work-at-home moms and other reasons to defeat the CPSIA act"

ETSY open letter on CPSIA

Startup Nation: Will CPSIA affect you? Have some news for us or want more info?
..................................................................................
Contact Liz and Kristen at info@coolmompicks.com with SAVE HANDMADE in the subject.
This page is protected by copyright. You are welcome to reprint an excerpt with attribution and a link to the full post

we need to talk

Have I mentioned that I love Today's Creative Blog? No? Well I do. A lot. And there are some blogs that I follow now that I didn't before Anita told me about TCB.

The newest one is Susie Can Stitch. Susie is awesome. I want to make what Susie makes. I want the fabrics Susie has. I want the sewing machine Susie's daughter uses. One problem though...I don't sew. But that's okay! Because I embroider! And so does Susie! She also has an Etsy shop [stay tuned for a post about my other other other love affair...ETSY.] so I can order her things and pretend that I could have made them.

And I'm sure I could. In the same way that a room full of monkeys could type one of Shakespeare's plays.

For more felty, Susie Stitchy goodness, check out her Flickr photostream.

oh, ikea!

Longtime readers of this blog (ha) might remember a post from May about my love of Ikea.

This blog might triple that love.

cough cough hack hack blech

You wonder why there were no updates after my "I'm-a-fearless-mom-with-no-diaper-bag-who-put-her-friend's-9-year-old-daughter-in-the-front-seat-because-I-don't-have-kids-that-old-and-don't-know-they-belong-in-the-backseat" post? Well, Dear Reader, there is a good reason for that.

We had The Sickness this weekend. Everything was fine and dandy for the most part on Saturday, but Sunday...oh Sunday. We were awash in a sea of germs and bodily fluids. Not a pretty picture (verbally or physically), let me tell you. We did manage to time out the sicky periods--Eva was sick on Sunday, Brandon was sick Sunday night, and I was sick Monday morning. And also Tuesday. Boo. BUT--we are better. And Brandon and I lost a combined 20 pounds! The flu diet is the way to go, ladies. :-) And gentlemen too, I suppose.

Anyhoo...did you know that Martha Stewart has a blog? She does! Like I need one more reason to look around at my standard issue university apartment in disgust. Oh well. That is why, like Anne, I have an imagination.

I discovered this through another blog I love, Grace Violet who also seems to have such fun crafty fun-nes. And I found HER blog through another favorite (by way of Anita), Today's Creative Blog. Do you sense a theme in blogs I love? It's not rocket surgery, peeps. This is why I could go home every night and spend tons of time in front of the computer while bouncing a baby on my knee. But I limit that to about 20 minutes since she is this small and adorable for such a short time. Sigh.

Sweet babies...I could have 10 babies just for the sweet baby phase. And if I had enough money to do so. And a huge garden to feed those people. And if I wanted a uterus that would be permanently the size of a football. But other than that, I'm totally there with my mini bus and baseball team plus one.

only 107 days until christmas!

People across the internet have started auctions to raise money and support for Stephanie (Nie) and Christian Nielson, the blogger and her husband who were badly injured in a plane crash on August 16th.

If you would like to support them through buying absolutely fabulous gifties and crafty things, there are several sites organizing and holding auctions. More can be found here at the Benefit Blog.

bird on the lawn
Today's Creative Blog
One More Moore

words of wisdom

If you scoot your eyes over to the right hand side of this blog, you might see a link to Catherine Newman's blog. Prepare to have your mind blown: She has two. The other is on Wondertime.

I love her kids, and mostly I love Ben. Ben is funny, kind, and the kind of quirky you can only be when you are 8. This week's blog on Wondertime has Ben talking about asperations and kids around the world, and it hit especially close to home for me:

We still read Children Just Like Me all the time — that awesome DK book that profiles kids around the world in a really beautiful, non-intrusive way — and Ben is newly amazed by it. Maybe it's because most of the kids are 8 or 9 ("Those children are just like me!" he always cries, comically), and Ben is identifying with them anew. "Wow," he says, "the kids always want to grow up and go into politics, to make the world a better place. They're so amazing. I always picture the page about me in the book, and it would be like, One day Ben wants to own a sandwich shop where he can only serve lunch so he won't have to work too hard." Self-ironizing is a past-time that seems to come early in my house. "I want to want to be president," Ben sighs. "But it just seems so tiring. And like I should probably leave it for someone who really wants it." I like how he makes presidential candidacy sound like it's the last waffle on a plate.

And it's true, at least for me. I want to be the guy that owns a sandwich shop open only for lunch. I like to have lofty goals because they sound so impressive, but in the end I just want to enjoy my life and my family. I feel like hard, demanding work (like the presidency) can really be a drag on my ultimate goal of doing nothing, like Peter in Office Space.

I just re-read that, and it appears that I am a blob who grunts at the slightest thing I need to do, like shower.

And I just re-read that, and I realized that I have said on numerous occasions that I would shower everyday if it didn't take so long.

So please scratch all you just read, and understand that I am 100% on board with Ben's sentiments, and that being who you are is a good thing, even if people have the mistaken impression you are a lazy SOB.

finding an oasis

It's easy to forget how blessed our lives are. We can get bogged down in things that frustrate us (you are hungry! I have a bottle! For the love of GOD, EAT!), the things that annoy us (it's called a blinker, buddy, use it), and the things that bring us down (I'm always washing baby bottles...isn't it his turn yet?).

We forget how lucky we are that we have someone who needs us to feed them, the ability to travel around, and the fact that we have someone who can help us out when we need it. NieNie is someone who never seemed to forget blessings and who cherished the grace given to her and her family every day.

On August 16th, Nie and her husband were seriously injured in a small plane accident (the flight instructor with them has passed away). Christian, her husband, has burns on 35% of his body, and Nie has burns on 83% of her body, and is currently in a coma. What is amazing about this is the support that has been given to them across the Internet. Nie blogged on the NieNieDialogues about her children, her husband and her life. She has quite a following, and those who read her blog have raised over $100,000 for their hospital bills. I encourage you to take a look at her blog, and either give prayers or monetary support to help their family in their time of need. Updates and more information are available here.

I also hope that you recognize the joys and blessings of your families, and know that any frustration is greatly out-weighed by the love and joy that's in your lives because of those who love and care about you.

Okay, I mean it this time. Last one.

Best. Weird. Blog. Ever. I would like to know who the muse is?