stuff heather likes

My friend Anita found a book recently called "Stuff Midwesterners Like." Liked items include ranch dressing, county fairs, and Cracker Barrel, to name a few. Anita loves it because it's true, and those types of things are the best. Exhibit A: Anything Jerry Seinfeld says. Exhibit B: Stuff Christians Like.

If there is one thing Heather likes, it's laughing at herself and the things she does without thinking. Many of the posts on Stuff Christians Like make me chuckle as a life-long church attendee, mission participator, and once ministry employee. Jon, the blog dude, seems to feel the same way.

Some of my favorites are:

Getting single people married as fast as possible
Leaving Bibles in the lost and found
30 Rock is the new Office and other shows that could be sermons (my parent's pastor has done sermons on books before...but never TV shows...GENIUS!!)

I really, really, really could go on for a long time. I've been doing the silent crying laugh thing, since I'm in a position where I am sitting down in front of a computer with other people who are also in front of computers nearby. I think you know what I'm talking about.

I've been scrolling through the months on Jon's blog, and I guess they had a "Bulletin Bored" contest. You know when a man (or woman) is giving this shpiel about their awesome retreat coming up, or the church announcements are going on forever, or it's Children's Church and you're bored out of your gourd so you doodle? My friend Liz (fellow youth intern) and I would do this, and doodle ridiculous things like a water polo team with Jesus on it, or other things that float through the transom of your mind when you are surrounded with junior and senior high students. This was one of the winners:

















The commenters after the blog posts say funny and/or insightful things too, which I appreciate in a blog. This is one that was left after a SCL post titled "Seeing God in Nature:"

I spend too much time looking for God and not enough time seeing God.

Ugh. So true.

Please, please enjoy SCL. It will make you cry silent laughter tears, or perhaps pee your pants. I pray it's the former.

movies i'm afraid to hate

So I'm sitting here, trying to keep it real, when I remembered what I used to do when I was tired and wanted to catch some Zzzzs. As I am in a position where sleeping would be very much frowned upon, it's a good thing I don't have a copy of the movie that would lull me into sleepy-time.

I will tell you of this film, but you need to promise yourself that you will like me afterword. From the reactions of other friends and acquaintances, I assure you it really is that bad.

I...I...watched The Neverending Story. It is and was the most boring movie I have ever seen; I liken it to the War and Peace of the movie realm, perhaps more boring than the cinematic adaptation of War and Peace. I haven't actually finished The Neverending Story either. I've fallen asleep every time. We had it on a tape after the Duck Tales movie (which was fricken awesome, as I'm sure you agree), and I would be so tired from watching Duck Tales that I would crash.

The theme song is pretty lame on it's own, and WTF is with a giant flying dog (correction: luckdragon)? Who names their kid Atreyu? Give me animated ducks fighting crime and exploring Egypt any day.

I have one more confession: I don't like The Goonies.

I saw it when I was in middle school and didn't get why all my friends were so obsessed. I fell asleep during this one too.

Please don't hate me, readers of my generation (if there are any of you, that is).

socks

I've been going through Birdy's room and tidying up (WILL IT NEVER END?!), and I've reached my Waterloo: her socks. My problem with her socks are threefold:

1. She has an insane amount of socks

2. She wears only 4-5 pairs of socks

3. I can never find those 4-5 pairs of socks that actually fit.

So you can sense my frustration, right?

I just put Birdy down for her nap, and decided to check on the internets and see what they had to offer today. I searched Flickr for sock puppets, and I have since fallen back in love with socks. Can you just imagine a tiny little sock puppet? Can you?

There are lot of pictures of people and their sock puppets on the Google:

My friend Shiloh and I made sock puppets for our presentation on MacBeth in 10th grade...and yes, it was as awesome as you think it was. I believe we even got an 'A.'

I think the world needs more sock puppets.

memories

I got a call today from an old friend. The first words out of his mouth were "Have you been watching the news today?" The only other time I've heard that was when my dad called me about the twin towers being hit.

This call was no different: bad news. A friend from high school died yesterday in the plane that crashed in Buffalo. She was the first officer. I remember when she decided she wanted to be a pilot.

I remember being in fifth and sixth grade and we would walk from school to church and hang out there until youth group started. I remember being thankful that someone liked me and wanted to be my friend at my new school. I remember making skirts for Mexico mission trips with her and her mom. I remember practicing volleyball with her. I remember when she went from Becky to Beki. I remember fighting with her when Mark, one of the best people I knew died. I remember being in Leadership class with her.

Beki was always in the background of my life since my family moved to Maple Valley. She was one of the first friends I made at my church. Her mother was always so nice to me. Her brother went to RSU and reffed our horrible flag football games.

Please keep her family in your prayers.

taco night

Hello friends.

If there is one thing I do well in life, it's Taco Night. I kick the crap out of taco night EVERY WEEK. The chicken I make for the tacos has garnered the highest praise I have ever recieved from Brandon in regards to food: "Your chicken? It's really good. Really."

I know, if he keeps that up, I'll get a head as big as three chickens! And not nearly as tasty! So I want to share the awesomeness of chicken tacos with you. Behold, the cast of characters:

Chicken breasts, beer (I prefer Corona, Sol, or Pacifico for this), onion, cumin, cayenne pepper, Lawrey's HOT taco seasoning.

Cut up your onions. Don't feel the need to make this pretty. Pretty is for wimps. Now, take your chicken. Trim it. You don't want to get (gasp) fatter. Plus, it gives you the illusion of health--less fat! It's like you just turned it into brocolli.

Now put it in your pan. Put some of those onions on, and add the cayenne and cumin to taste. I happen to be a rabid cumin fan, so I put on more than most, I think.

Open beer. Take swig. Pour beer onto chicken. Take two more swigs.

Now, let this poach and get happy. When it's almost done, I take the chicken out and shred it. It's a scientific fact that shredded chicken actually tastes better than whole or cubed. You can Google it.

Put the shredded nearly-cooked chicken back into your pan, add the taco mix and water. Stir. Heat until things are cooked all the way through. You can then start eating out of the pan, but etiquette dictates waiting for a tortilla.

Enjoy!

For dessert: tropical margaritas. These are almost as good as tacos.

boo

I'm tired. I don't want to run tomorrow. Boo. If you plan on throwing me a pity party, I like chocolate cake.

hot blooded

I am a woman.

As a woman, I have needs. These needs are strong, and no cold shower can chase them away. The need in particular I am talking about is the strong, insatiable desire for a certain bookcase from Ikea. Those unfamiliar with my torrid love affair with Ikea should read about it here.

The shelf which I covet is the Expedit 5x5 shelf. I envision a wall of these shelves, complete with the media center Expedit unit the in the center. Can you handle the storage? I nearly can't. Brandon and I would FINALLY have room for all of our books.

We have a lot of books. I would say we own more books than any other item in our home. And we own a lot of items. I nearly can't handle the number of books. But you know what could?

Oh yeah...it can HANDLE the books.

meet: htr

You know those people in your life that are always good for a _____ (and I invite you to fill in the blank)? Well, my buddy Htr is good for just about everything, especially making me laugh. And helping me pass the day. And all kinds of other things.

I give you Htr, my office spouse and Lighty Soulmate:

..................................................................................

H: Yawn. Office time. Boo.

Htr: Grumble. Agreed.

...three hours of typing and silence later...

H: Htr...whatcha doin' over there?

Htr: Um...nuffing?

H: Good. You have time to answer some questions. And don't think about not answering. I have good aim, a box of paperclips, and you only 10 feet away.

Htr: Psh.

H: Let's get started. What's your name, friend?

Htr. Heather Elizabeth Mo-

H: HEY! I'm a Heather Elizabeth TOO!

Htr: What are the odds. Moving along. I'm Heather Elizabeth Morgan, nee Thompson, of the Pullman Morgan-Thompsons.

H: Aren't we fancy schmancy.

Htr: Zip it.

H: Right. So your favorite bar...what is it?

Htr: My Office, especially when the students aren't there. The cheese sticks are divINE. As are the ruebens. And the chicken strips. And the nachos. It's where we're going on Thursday to celebrate Betty Friedan's birthday. Speaking of Betty, if I was a professional female wrestler, I would call myself "The Feminine Mystique."

H: Ha! You'd have some crazy apron and hit people with rolling pins. I'd be a big fan. And I'm looking forward to getting the rueben. Yum. I couldn't help but notice that all but one of those dishes you mentioned have cheese. You a cheese fan, Htr?

Htr: I love cheese. A lot. You can put it on anything and it makes everything better.

H: Would it make Lucy better?

Htr: You can't improve that dog. Lucy is awesome. (Editor's Note: She is.)

H: I bet it would make her gassy. So, your husband's name is Ron, and what do you like about him?

Htr: He makes me laugh from my toes, and I feel at peace the second he enters a room. Like Edward makes Bella feel. Heather, is there something wrong?

H: (cough-gagging) No, no, we're good over here. Edward and Bella, right. I just inhaled one of the little cartoon hearts coming out of your eyes. I'm better now. So what do you like to do on the weekend?

Htr: I like hanging out with my boys [Ron and Jonathon], watching mindless TV and bugging the dog.

H: Pop Quiz: Why are manhole covers round?

Htr: Because they are shaped like an a**hole! Hahahahahahaha!!! Get it?! MAN hole? HA!

H: Right...uh...sure. So, uh, tater tots?

Htr: Oh those are part of the delicious, well-balanced tater tot casserole! But they're better as mexifries.

H: Aren't you allergic to potatoes?

Htr: Yes. Let's name what I'm not allergic to...air. Also water.

H: You were an English major, and we're both hit up to read an inordinate amount of papers for the GAs and desk workers. What fictional character would you be and why?

Htr: Dr. Doolitte. Talking to animals would be awesome, and I bet they are even funnier than the voices I give them.

H: You do have a good animal voice, Htr. So....who's your favorite and best looking office mate?

Htr: Uh...it's...it's, uh...A TIE! Yeah, a tie! Between you and April. (I'm not picking...you bi*ches are crazy). And, for the record, I would totally own a poster of you and April. Especially if there were unicorns or leprechauns involved.

H: That poster would be so awesome it would set the office ON FIRE! What posters did you have in your room when you were 14?

Htr: James Dean, cause he's awesome. There was a Convoy poster that was in my room when we moved in, and I didn't take it down until I moved out when I was 22. It was hilarious.

H: Truckers are funny, I'll give you that. Last question: what do you like about WSU?

Htr: I love that we're an Ag based school. Remember the Clydesdale pulling the carriage yesterday in the parking lot (Editor's Note: I do, and it was freaking awesome)? You can't see that at a chump school like UW (Editor's Note: You can't. Mainly because they're chumps.).

..................................................................................

This concludes this installment of Meet:. Who will be next? Only The Feminine Mystique knows! And me. I know.

random musings

1. I wish I was a smidge craftier. Like crocheting...WTF is up with that? Those loops drive me crazy. Give me knitting with it's preset number of loops kindly already on your needle.

2. I hope that wherever we end up next year has an Ikea nearby. I could spend a lot of time at Ikea. I could also spend a lot of money at Ikea.

3. Bagels=delish.

4. I ran again today! Woo for me!

5. I realized this weekend that our next baby plans will be on hold for longer than I thought originally. Hall directors are not known to have palatial university apartments. And, let's be clear, I do not want to share a room with a baby past that baby turning 6 weeks old at the longest.

6. Pants are fitting better. Double woo.

7. My mom and I get to go antique-ing when we visit in March. That is going to be wicked sweet. Next goal: take an upholstery class.

8. University apartment or no, I'm going to start decorating and having more matchy-I'm-not-still-a-college-student furniture. Ikea and antique stores will come in handy for that.

9. Along the lines of antiques, antiques in the northwest are not like the antiques in say, Pennsylvania, where people have had furniture for a lot longer. Antiques here are rarely made before 1900.

10. I need dinner ideas for this week. Please send ideas post-haste.

bottle, thy name is chump

There are few things I hate in life. Sure, there are things that I don't really like to do, like vacuum or go to the dentist or take out Birdy's garbage.

But hate? Oh, that is reserved for a select few chores in my life.

The thing I hate most is washing bottles. I've given up on washing them every day, because formula stinks up within three hours, and I'm never going to be washing a bottle within three hours of using it. That's the truth, and I'm all about honesty here.













You see before you 22 bottles. Birdy uses 3-4 bottles a day.

I hear you and your mental math. It's just embarrassing, is what it is.

You know those chores you have that you really don't like so you do them fast or just get them over with? I have those. Bottles...not one of them. I hate them so much I put it off as long as I can. Those bottles are currently soaking in the sink with a smidge of bleach to get the nasties out of them.

My reward for washing bottles is a craft project, which you will see later tonight.

Wish me luck and godspeed.