nothing like a long walk

Back in the day, when the Israelites esca-pated from the pesky Egyptians with Moses (and aren't those Egyptians always pesky in the Old Testament? They're like the mean older brother of the Israelites), God let the Israelites on the desert road. There was a shorter way to get where they were going, but God knew that if the people went the shorter way, they might encounter something they weren't ready for. And, in encountering it, they might change their minds and go back to Egypt.

So, in the interest of, um, their best interest, God did what was best for them: took them on a long walk on the desert road.

I get the feeling that I'm on the desert road most of the time. And that, I feel, doesn't speak well for me. If I'm not getting the things I want or doing the things I want to do...that means that I'm probably not ready for it. Moreover, it might also mean that it's what I want and what I want to do, not not what God wants or what God wants me to do. What I think it comes back to is that I'm more focused on what I want, not what's best for me. Sigh. That kinda sucks.

Are you on a desert road, waiting for what you really want?

Wondering why God isn't giving you the things you want, or why the road is so much harder than you thought?

Check out Jon's post on the desert road and let me know.

the good, the bad, and the annotated list

Awesome things that have happened since Friday:

1. My best good friend Brianna got married.

2. I went to Canada for the first time ever. To celebrate, my parents bought 3 giant things of booze at the Duty Free (okay, it was just a good deal, not necessarily a celebration).

3. We've been in the hot tub nearly every day.

4. I've got my Birdy Cuddle Index maxed out.

5. We had italian sausage sandwiches last night and everyone really liked the sauce I made.

6. My parents got a brand new washer and dryer. They are about as quiet as you'd imagine a whispering unicorn to be, if you had ever imagined a whispering unicorn.

7. I found out our new apartment has not only a new washer and dryer, but a dishwasher too. It's okay. You can be jealous. I don't mind.

Not so awesome things that have happened since Friday:

1. My parent's washer broke big time at 7:30 on Sunday night. A mad scramble ensued, and a new washer and dryer were in by 11pm that night. The previous washer and dryer were older than my brother, so they've earned a rest.

2. Birdy keeps dunking herself in the hot tub. That girl has no fear.

3. I haven't been able to drink coffee with Randi. Boo.

4. Chloe, the Super Bitchy Family Dog, has growled and lunged at Birdy already. No one feels that bad for her being on the other side of the baby gate.

5. Brandon left on Saturday. :-( (this one counts as two entries on the list)

6. Birdy has forgotten the joy of an early bed time and sleeping through the night.

on death and grace

I've been having a debate with myself today since 10am. I've been wondering if it's easier to be brave while living or to be brave while dying. Yes, we are all dying, and yes, we are (especially if you are reading this) all living. But are we living with every good intention? Are we living with honor, and humility, and thankfulness?

If we are dying, and we know we are dying, doing things with kindness, honor, humility and thankfulness might be easier. We are blessed with the knowledge we are dying, and so making those conscience choices to be a better person are put into perspective. We know that helping someone out is worth the effort, even if it means we being generous with our time or our money. It's easier to overlook the snarky comments and glares because we know that we can't waste a moment on not giving grace.

However.

Life is hard.

Living a good life is even harder.

Living while knowing you are dying...that is probably the hardest of all.

This internal debate was brought on by a phone message left by a friend this morning. Her mother passed away this past Friday.

Her mother had been diagnosed with a debilitating and degenerative disease in 2006. Her whole family knew this diagnoses was, for lack of a better word, a death sentence. You can't come back from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS. Like being diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, you know your days are numbered.

And my friend's mother has been living her life with kindness, honor, humility and thankfulness. That is bravery. Getting up every morning and feeling a little worse than the day before? I can't imagine what that is like. Getting up every morning feeling a little worse than the day before and looking at that day as a blessing? Gosh. I can only hope to live out my days like that.

And so, dear friend: we love you, and admire your mother. I am inspired by the life your mother led, and believe that many other people are as well.

"the time has come," the walrus said

This is it. My last day in Pullman.

Please imagine a high five and a "see ya later" coming your way.

heather in real life

Have you seen Dan in Real Life? I saw it this morning. I think it's also why I'm trying not to cry listening to Landslide on the radio right now.

I bet you didn't see that coming, huh? Neither did I.

I'm starting to realize that this time next week, I'm going to be at my parent's house with my Birdy in my lap and my husband 832.7 miles away (but who's counting? Not me. I can't count at all.). And you know what? I'm starting to think that's going to suck.

Techinically, from where I am staying now I could drive and see them every weekend at my parents. It's only five hours away from where I am now. That is strangely comforting. But. And my friends, with me, there is always a "but."

Because this time next week, I'll be thinking that this time two weeks from now I'm going to be in sunny California 832.7 miles away from my parents, and my brother, and my in-laws, and Jessica, and even more miles away from dear Pullman and my friends here. I've never been so far away from all but two of the people I love, and I know that's going to suck.

That, for sure, I'm counting on.

sigh

People. Can we talk? Michael Jackson is dead? Really? REALLY? Ugh. How crappy.


In memoriam, please leave a comment with your favorite MJ song. And don't feed me some line about "oh, I don't like Michael Jackson because I'm an intellectual and listen only to fusion jazz and read Moby Dick each weekend." Because we all know you aren't that kind of person, right? Right.


I'll go first.


Black or White. That song rocks my socks off.

i wish i knew this guy

There are a lot of things that I wish I had done/are now doing/will do. I know myself enough to know that many of them (participate in a triathlon, finally swim a 50 free below :30 seconds, read Moby Dick) won't happen. Or, more optimistically, won't happen soon. I'll need some more energy, will power, and dedication first.

There are also a lot of things that I never thought I'd like to do, but then read about someone doing them and think to myself "that would be fricken' awesome." For example, this guy named Ryan is running across Europe.

Stop and think about that.

Running.

Across.

Europe.

As in, putting one foot in front of the other, in a semi-quick fashion. And doing that action all across Europe. With just a little backpack. Running. Europe.

Madness.

Lucky for me, he's started a blog so I can live vicariously through him and have "running through Europe" on my list of things I'd like to do, but that we all know would actually never happen.

So. Please go and check Ryan out and read about his travels. I'm pretty sure that reading about his adventure is very much like exercise, so it's like going to the gym too.

Ryan Runs Europe

UPDATE: This guy is from Washington! Even cooler than before.

she talks to angels/black crowes

You know how sometimes it seems that radio stations get in these funks where they play the same artist or song (I'm looking at you, Rhianna/ZFUN)? And how its mostly just annoying? Well, the station we are now listening to now plays awesome music. They have some that they play fairly often, but since it's the rockin' sounds of the 70s, 80s, and 90s, we don't complain.

One of the repeats is She Talks to Angels, by the Black Crowes. I'm falling in love with this song all over again. For me, the first verse is just...awesome. I don't know why. It just is. I highly recommend picking up Shake Your Money Maker if you have the means.

Also, and this is a sidenote, are there many songs better than the Southern Cross by CSNY? Less than 20? That's what I was thinking too.

She Talks to Angels

She never mentions the word addiction
In certain company
Yes, shell tell you shes an orphan
After you meet her family

She paints her eyes as black as night, now
Pulls those shades down tight
Yeah, she gives a smile when the pain comes,
The pains gonna make everything alright

Says she talks to angels,
They call her out by her name
She talks to angels,
Says they call her out by her name

She keeps a lock of hair in her pocket
She wears a cross around her neck
Yes, the hair is from a little boy
And the cross is someone she has not met, not yet

Says she talks to angels,
Says they all know her name
Oh yeah, she talks to angels,
Says they call her out by her name

She don't know no lover,
None that I ever seen
Yes, to her that ain't nothing
But to me, yeah me,
It's everything

She paints her eyes as black as night now
She pulls those shades down tight
Oh yeah, there's a smile when the pain comes,
The pains gonna make everything alright, alright yeah

She talks to angels,
Says they call her out by her name
Oh yeah, yeah, angels
Call her out by her name
Oh, angels
They call her out by her name
Oh, she talks to angels
They call her out
Yeah, they call her out
Don't you know that they call her out by her name

meet: the bfa

Hello all. It’s been a while since I’ve done a meet: feature, and my Blogless Friend April (BFA) has been gracious enough to sit for an interview…4 months ago. So, without any further shilly-shallying, I give you my dear BFA.
......................................

H: Hey April! What’s shaken, bacon?

BFA: Not much. I just read a treatise on how a CSA can solve world hunger, make peace with your family, and makes keys while you wait! Genius!

H: Sounds great. Let’s get past the crazy hippy portion of our interview and into the real meat and potatoes. What is your shoe size?BFA: 8.

H: I used to be a size 8.5. And then I had Birdy. Other parts of me have also grown. I also credit my love of cheese. What’s your favorite food?

BFA: I have too many, hence having to get up at 5:30 and sweat for an hour three times a week. Though, since it’s summer, it’s mostly swimming after work.

H: You are quite the swimmer…weekdays after work, weekends during P & G’s swim lessons. Enough with the softball questions: Which child is your favorite?BFA: The one I imagined before actually having children.

H: Good answer. What is your favorite way to spend an evening?

BFA: I’m a “vegger.” Hanging out and watching TV with the MD [editor’s note: everyone wants an MD in your life. If you don’t think you do, you haven’t met the MD]. I also like going to Swilly’s for a grilled chicken Caesar salad with extra croutons, or listening to the Little House on the Prairie audio book with P & G.

H: That DOES sound like a good evening. I can see why we are friends.

BFA: Because we like TV and croutons?

H: Among other things, yes. I’m writing this interview…if you get too sassy, I’ll write something like “I like to vote Republican whenever I can.”

BFA: Easy trigger.

H: Pipe down. Moving on. So, why do you like MD?

BFA: So, so, so many reasons. He’s nice, funny, smart, chatty, has strong opinions about men leaving their jackets on at weddings (which I totally agree with), he helps people move, knows how to cook, is a good father and he puts up with me being bossy and/or high maintenance every now and then. Oh, I’m bossy and high maintenance-y more than every now and then? Sometimes? Most of the time?! Hmmmm. Well. I like him even more now.

H: We all like MD. And his shrimp. Oh, sweet sassy molassy…the shrimp…um…I need a minute. Tell the people why you think manhole covers are round.

BFA: What? Do I work for the city? Who knows?

H: That wasn’t nearly the time I needed to recover from the memory of the shrimp. And manhole covers are round so they don’t fall down into the sewer. Triangle shapes work well too. Anyway. Shrimp live in your refrigerator, but not as often as they should. What else would we find in there?

BFA: You will almost always find milk, eggs, and tortillas. We keep the cheese in the freezer and the Diet Pepsi in the pantry. So come on over for quesadillas anytime you like!

H: You know it! The taco night from your youth is alive and well at your house. Speaking of youth in an offhand way, what posters were on your wall when you were 16?

BFA: Duran Duran, Def Leppard, and tons words from magazines cut out and made into collages.

H: I think that would accurately describe most 16 year-old’s bedrooms. What is it with chicks and words cut out from a magazine? I used Seventeen most for such things. My mom’s Martha Stewart and my dad’s Popular Science didn’t have enough “awesome” words like “grrl power” and “sweet.” You can’t be melodramatic with words like “futuristic space car” and “zinnias are a good thing” on your walls. The thing about being a girl and being a teenager at the same time is that you are never really happy with who you are. If you could have a super power to up your awesomeness quotient as a non-teenage girl, what would it be?

BFA: I would have a shield that made me impervious to smells and germs.

H: Htr told me about your queasy stomach when you were pregnant. Who would you say is your favorite office mate? And would you own a poster of him/her and put it in your room surrounded by cut out magazine words?

BFA: My favorite office mate is Htr. And that’s not just because she’s the only office mate I’ve ever had. And, I would totally have a poster of her, but only if she would sign it; “To April, you really are my favorite and you’ve never been a bit high strung. Love, Htr” I would pay good money for that!

H: You know me, right?BFA: I would hope so at this point.

H: So you know my love of Ikea. Thus, I pose this question: If you could name an item at Ikea, what would you choose?

BFA: Flemsvik.

H: What would it be?

BFA: Storage that holds scrapbooking materials, and magically organizes it for you. Wait, can I change my superhero powers to having the ability to organize anything in a matter of moments while making it look like I live in a Pottery Barn catalog?

H: That is a tall order, but if anyone can do it, it’s IKEA. Since we both love reading, what fictional character would you be and why?

BFA: Good question. You’ve stumped me. I’m pretty happy being me. Although if there’s someone who snacks a lot and sleeps a lot, yet is healthy, looks fit and lives in a tidy and organized home, and is more patient I’d like to be her.

H: I think that’s a character in a Nora Roberts book somewhere. Not that I would read those books or anything. I read things like War and Peace. Often. In fact, I’m reading War and Peace while I’m interviewing you.

BFA: I’ve notice that, and I think it’s rude to be reading and interviewing at the same time…though I do admire your ability to multitask.

H: Next, I plan on reading Moby Dick. P and I have formed a book club.

BFA: Easy trigger…or I’ll hunt you down like a white whale too.

H: So angry…we’ll move on to the last question. What is one seven letter word that describes you?

BFA: Your “one 7 letter word” rules can’t contain me! I guess I’ll go with… SoSassy.

H: I think that sums up this entire experience, don’t you think?

BFA: I never promised to not be sassy or make up words.

H: I’ll have to keep that in mind for next time. Thanks for joining us BFA!

cue belly rub

My roommates Jason and Randi and I made these for dinner. And everyone (really, everyone) loved them...spicy, and gingery, and garlicky...yum. I wish there were leftovers for lunch. However, we devoured them, and then went to get ice cream because our mouths were hot from ribs and proceeded to devour THAT. Ugh. It was a night of delicious excess.

Tonight: Randi's stuffed peppers!

I love my roommates. :-)