6.03.2009

something to remember

I think we can all agree that we are not the best wife (or husband for the 1.2 males in my audience who may be married) we could be. For me, that is especially true. I have a lot of stuff (emotionally or otherwise, I guess) that makes living with me either a) super awesome b) tolerable and c) worst experience ever. Some of the stuff is depression-related, some of it is my own issues. I'd like to think my delightful qualities greatly outweigh the negative, but we all think that, and we can't ALL be right, right? Anyway.

I'm worried about a few things that go along with moving to a new place with no support base near by. As someone who's dealt with depression on and off in my life (some episodes triggered by circumstances, others triggered by chemical imbalance) (thanks again, Grandma Lorraine), these kind of situations unnerve me. I can, if I allow myself, to become depressed very easily. Keeping a positive mental outlook isn't a luxury for me, it's a necessity. I worry, with my depression and ability to be a totally shrew, if my marriage is going to be hurt by moving so far away. Can our relationship handle me falling victim to myself? I can dwell on these topics for a while, which puts the Living With Heather index into a code red situation.
However, I was really convicted by something Jon wrote today: God loves love, and His ability to repair it will forever exceed our ability to deserve it.

Garsh.

When thoughts like that are brought to light, my weaknesses and worries aren't so significant. I have the author of love rooting for me, and on my side. I need to recognize that more often and lean on that promise and that strength more often.

That's all for today.

P.S.--One of the radio stations in town changed their format to 70s and 80s rock. If that isn't proof there is a God out there who loves us, I don't know what is.

No comments: