7.05.2009

on death and grace

I've been having a debate with myself today since 10am. I've been wondering if it's easier to be brave while living or to be brave while dying. Yes, we are all dying, and yes, we are (especially if you are reading this) all living. But are we living with every good intention? Are we living with honor, and humility, and thankfulness?

If we are dying, and we know we are dying, doing things with kindness, honor, humility and thankfulness might be easier. We are blessed with the knowledge we are dying, and so making those conscience choices to be a better person are put into perspective. We know that helping someone out is worth the effort, even if it means we being generous with our time or our money. It's easier to overlook the snarky comments and glares because we know that we can't waste a moment on not giving grace.

However.

Life is hard.

Living a good life is even harder.

Living while knowing you are dying...that is probably the hardest of all.

This internal debate was brought on by a phone message left by a friend this morning. Her mother passed away this past Friday.

Her mother had been diagnosed with a debilitating and degenerative disease in 2006. Her whole family knew this diagnoses was, for lack of a better word, a death sentence. You can't come back from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS. Like being diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, you know your days are numbered.

And my friend's mother has been living her life with kindness, honor, humility and thankfulness. That is bravery. Getting up every morning and feeling a little worse than the day before? I can't imagine what that is like. Getting up every morning feeling a little worse than the day before and looking at that day as a blessing? Gosh. I can only hope to live out my days like that.

And so, dear friend: we love you, and admire your mother. I am inspired by the life your mother led, and believe that many other people are as well.

3 comments:

AngMomof3 said...

Me too. Ditto. And I'm also honored to know a woman who is so brave and accepting of the unfairness of losing a mom to a miserable disease. She too, is living with kindness, honor, humility and thankfulness. And bravery.

And thanks to God who offered the grace to let a daughter and her family be there to spend her mom's last day on earth together.

mommyneedsanap said...

Well put my friends. I wish I had the ability to express it as well as both of you did. So brave, so full of grace.

Anita Cory said...

Hi...I'm finally back in the land of internet (OK, just a hotel in SD). I've missed my friends.

HB...thank you for honoring my Mom's life and legacy with your post. You expressed my thoughts better than I could have myself. My whole family is sleeping and I'm sitting here crying...it's a good cry.

Thanks to mommyneedsanap and AngMomof3 (smile) for your loving comments.

We'll be back Tuesday...Love you guys!
A