roller skates and earthquakes

I think I was a weird kid.

One of the things I used to really, really, really want to do was roller skate on the ceiling. The ceiling is always so pristine, and it had these great ramps to skate up. I remember being sad that I would never get to roller skate on the ceiling because of gravity.

And since my mind was on roller skates, I would wonder what life would be like if, instead of feet, we were born with roller skates. What would the world look like? Would we wear socks? Would we have to wear shoes with holes for the wheels, or would they be hard enough we wouldn't have to wear shoes at all?

And then I started thinking about how we would be in our mom's tummies. How would the human body create the metal to make roller skates? If there wasn't a way for us to make metal, how would the wheels turn on our roller skate feet? Would it hurt more to have a baby because of the roller skates?

These are the things I used to wonder about. Sometimes, I still want to roller skate on the ceiling (especially at my parent's house...they have ceilings just asking to be roller skated on). And now that I have a baby, I'm glad that I didn't have to give birth to something that had roller skates instead of feet. Baby feet are much more kissable than dirty roller skates.

I can only imagine what my life will be like if Birdy thinks things like this. Did any of you think about weird stuff like that when you were a kid? If not, that's okay. I think I've come to terms with my weirdness as a kid and as an adult...because I still think weird things. Here is an example:

One time, when I was walking to work, I saw a dead bird. It was outside of the vet school. A few days later, I saw another dead bird in nearly the same place. I started wondering if they were doing experiments on birds. Of course, these experiments would be top secret, because you can't just go around having dead birds all over campus. Since the people running these experiments were so smart, they must also notice I walk to work the same way each day, and they would worry I would catch on. Since they didn't want anyone to get wind of their bird-killing experiments, they would have to kidnap me so that I couldn't tell anyone. And then, they would do experiments on me too! Scary!

I thought of all of this on one day on my way to work. I told someone about it at work, and they told me I was crazy. Maybe I am. But I wanted to make sure that if there was someone who was going to kidnap me for their weird bird/human experiments that I knew that they knew I was on to them, and that someone else now knew that I knew that they knew they were going to kidnap me. True story.

I hope no one from the vet school reads this.

I think I've weirded enough people out for one day.

1 comment:

mommyneedsanap said...

DUDE-do you know what I saw as I was leaving my office today?? Dead. Bird. I think the folks at the vet hospital know you're on to them, and now they are starting to spread the dead birds around. I'd watch out!