jelly belly, the lamentable part deux
And weighed myself. With the trainer.
And then did a body fat composition test. With the trainer.
And then kept my face carefully neutral when I saw my percentage. In front of my trainer.
Has anyone ever done that? The body fat thing? Because holy melty cheese nachos, Batman, it's intense. I have a system when it comes to numbers and my body. When I weigh myself, I think of a number that is a few pounds heavier than I think I will be, kind of like a worst-case scenario situation. That way, when I do step on the scale, it's always with the attitude of "it could be worse." This makes me feel better about myself. It doesn't make me feel better about myself when the number is much, much, much higher than my mentally prepared already high number. And that is what the body fat composition test did for me. Yikes.
I mean, I know I'm overweight. I know that "medically" I'm "technically" "obese." But what do "doctors" know, really? Well. I guess more than me. Because the body fat test was a big wake up call for me. Peeps, I have some issues and I need to deal with them as soon as possible. I find the segment on the Biggest Loser where the doctor goes over their health risks and numbers related to their weight, and think to myself that I'm not that bad. I don't weigh 250 pounds, or 300, or 400, and I take comfort and feel smug with those thoughts. Even at my most fit, I was 150 pounds and not necessarily skinny. I don't have the build for that, I think. But today, I realized that I've been living in a fabricated dream world where I think I'm okay and that I don't really have a problem.
I have a problem.
Because many things haven't worked for me, I'm trying something new. Remember when I said this was a shame based Puritanical society I run at this here blog? I'm going to take advantage of that and start posting weekly updates on my progress. Or my backsliding. Or my stagnation. But the big thing is that I'm going to start being accountable for what I eat and how often I work out. But mostly, it’s about humiliation. I think that might be good for me. For more on another very funny guy who lost weight using humiliation and a whole lot of biking, check out Fat Cyclist, who isn't fat at all anymore.
Without further ado, here we go (you can feel free to stop reading now, if you'd like):
Body fat: 43.7% (Thank god I have big bones??)
Pants size: 20
Ugh. That was rough. But I feel better. I think.
Photo from Cathy Zielske